I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
