Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I looked at my own cervix.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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