Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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