At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
