i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize