I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
