no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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