Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
