what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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