I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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