you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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