does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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