I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i barfeds in our rink
i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
