Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
