OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize