morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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