Don't make out with my wife yet
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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