Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
