did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
