I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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