I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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