Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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