We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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