sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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