i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think people are normalizing furries
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
