Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
