Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
