My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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