But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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