i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
