What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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