just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.