i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot