He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
