well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
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woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.