I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.