Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
