no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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