Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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