Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
