But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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