Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
