i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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