drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
