...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
