Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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