I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
