Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
