He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
