I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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