OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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