Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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