That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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