You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
