So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
