so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
