hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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