all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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