He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
