Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
