i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have post one night stand depression
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