so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
