Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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