and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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