Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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