Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
