So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
