I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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