Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
