I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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