After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
