i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
